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| my sanity, occasionally 2/22 |
motherhood is hard. it gets harder every time. it is easy to find yourself falling down the rabbit hole of postpartum depression.
not long after my younger son was born, i ended up losing my best friend, who had also been my main source of support (other than my husband) after i'd had my eldest. and, of course, there was a whole heap of emotional trauma on top that i still haven't fully gotten past. one of the big contributors to postpartum depression is the lack of social support, and having lost mine, i ended up in a dark place. i was able to talk to my midwife about it, and while she did give me the name of a therapist, i could never bring myself to call (i'm a total phone-phobe, by the way). thankfully, i was able to eventually claw my way toward the surface on my own, although i probably should have reached out.
it's been really hard trying to build new relationships with other women at all, and even harder to open myself up and trust anyone to take a friendship to the level of the one that was lost. after four years, i finally feel as though i might have found a little community of my own, and within it, there are a few ladies in particular that i love dearly and hope to continue building relationships with them.
ladies, i hope you know who you are~ thanks for giving me a rope to hang onto, keeping me from slipping quite as deep into the hole (so far) after baby girl as i went following the younger son. i also have my beloved midwife to thank for her constant support, who has made it clear that her door will always be open, even though our childbearing days are no more.
i still have moments of darkness, but i do not feel captured or weighed down by the darkness. i feel the hope.
not long after my younger son was born, i ended up losing my best friend, who had also been my main source of support (other than my husband) after i'd had my eldest. and, of course, there was a whole heap of emotional trauma on top that i still haven't fully gotten past. one of the big contributors to postpartum depression is the lack of social support, and having lost mine, i ended up in a dark place. i was able to talk to my midwife about it, and while she did give me the name of a therapist, i could never bring myself to call (i'm a total phone-phobe, by the way). thankfully, i was able to eventually claw my way toward the surface on my own, although i probably should have reached out.
it's been really hard trying to build new relationships with other women at all, and even harder to open myself up and trust anyone to take a friendship to the level of the one that was lost. after four years, i finally feel as though i might have found a little community of my own, and within it, there are a few ladies in particular that i love dearly and hope to continue building relationships with them.
ladies, i hope you know who you are~ thanks for giving me a rope to hang onto, keeping me from slipping quite as deep into the hole (so far) after baby girl as i went following the younger son. i also have my beloved midwife to thank for her constant support, who has made it clear that her door will always be open, even though our childbearing days are no more.
i still have moments of darkness, but i do not feel captured or weighed down by the darkness. i feel the hope.
Postpartum Progress is a great site for information on postpartum depression.
if you are in RVA, checkout the Mothering/Postpartum Support Circle, or there is Postpartum Support VA for the entire state (part of Postpartum Support International).
you are not alone.
if you are in RVA, checkout the Mothering/Postpartum Support Circle, or there is Postpartum Support VA for the entire state (part of Postpartum Support International).
you are not alone.
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