caption THIS!

i actually took this photo yesterday, but it makes me laugh so i am using it today.  sue me.

i have my own idea for what the caption should be, but thought it would be fun to see what others come up with...  so, entertain me.

legacy

today is the second anniversary of my dad's sudden passing.
i am grateful for the relationship that he & i had cultivated over the last decade of his life, and for the many childhood memories of trout fishing at Kibler Valley, along with the occasional camping trip (or renting a cabin) at the same locale.

i am sad that my boys will probably only have hazy memories of him at best...  and that they never got to join him for a fishing trip.
i am sad that he never got to meet his only granddaughter.
mostly i am sad that my children lost the only grandfather who was interested in any kind of relationship with them... but i'll try to share with them things he shared with me.

we love you & miss you, papa.

staking our tent in the backyard

(and yes, the eldest has worn that mario costume pretty much every day since he got it, except for the days i make him let me wash it.)

working it

mobility is closer than we think...

(and OMG at the ruffles on the butt!!!)  

a little night music

irresistible

the most beautiful baby ever.^*
drool and all.

^*yes, i'm biased... but you gotta admit she's pretty effin' cute!

biz mario

doin' a little beatboxing...

make the music with your mouth, biz!

2/23

crumbling

again, i'm off schedule...  this time felled by the worst migraine i've had since 2003, then just laziness.  of course, i don't flatter myself that anyone really even cares other than my mom.  ;-)

my sanity, occasionally
2/22

motherhood is hard.  it gets harder every time.  it is easy to find yourself falling down the rabbit hole of postpartum depression. 

not long after my younger son was born, i ended up losing my best friend, who had also been my main source of support (other than my husband) after i'd had my eldest. and, of course, there was a whole heap of emotional trauma on top that i still haven't fully gotten past.  one of the big contributors to postpartum depression is the lack of social support, and having lost mine, i ended up in a dark place. i was able to talk to my midwife about it, and while she did give me the name of a therapist, i could never bring myself to call (i'm a total phone-phobe, by the way).  thankfully, i was able to eventually claw my way toward the surface on my own, although i probably should have reached out.

it's been really hard trying to build new relationships with other women at all, and even harder to open myself up and trust anyone to take a friendship to the level of the one that was lost.  after four years, i finally feel as though i might have found a little community of my own, and within it, there are a few ladies in particular that i love dearly and hope to continue building relationships with them.

ladies, i hope you know who you are~ thanks for giving me a rope to hang onto, keeping me from slipping quite as deep into the hole (so far) after baby girl as i went following the younger son. i also have my beloved midwife to thank for her constant support, who has made it clear that her door will always be open, even though our childbearing days are no more.

i still have moments of darkness, but i do not feel captured or weighed down by the darkness.  i feel the hope.

Postpartum Progress is a great site for information on postpartum depression.
if you are in RVA, checkout the Mothering/Postpartum Support Circle, or there is Postpartum Support VA for the entire state (part of Postpartum Support International). 

you are not alone.

cobra

bhujangasana

dog days of winter

nothing says february like big wheelin' in your underwear...

quite the character

when he's not searching for princess peach or fighting king koopa, mario enjoys exploring his artistic side and  designing sonic-bots.